Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Defining what makes a quality lanyard is a matter of personal preference.
If you find one you like, hang on to it, and wear it at any subsequent conferences you attend. Traveling with your own favorite lanyard is one of the subtle, yet distinct, details that say to the world, "Yes, I'm a librarian."
If that's not enough, the world can just read your name badge.
Monday, May 29, 2006
... actually work.
Should one of these rare occasions present itself, purposely perform the assigned task as poorly as you can. And turn it in late. Hopefully your poor performance will keep anyone from ever asking you to "do work" again.
Remember: a reputation of incompetence can serve you well in the future.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Don’t author racist or otherwise intolerant blogs chronicling your hatred of Muslims, immigrants, amputees, women, etc. It really ruins the librarians as liberal defenders of civil liberties thing the rest of us are so proud of. Not only are such blogs mean, they’re also terribly tacky.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Things to avoid:
- correcting them for emptying your recycling into the regular trash
- playing computer games while they empty your waste basket
- regularly dribbling coffee all the way from the coffee shop to your office
- refusing to participate in idle chit-chat about the weather
- leaving your pay-check stub face-up on top of the trash
- snorting like a pig when they crash the library potluck dinner (bearing no food)
- writing "custodians suck!" on the bathroom wall in your own feces
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
- give yourself some leadership experience
- practice delegating to your peers
- diffuse responsibility for tasks you don't want to do
- share blame for bad decisions
- pad your vita/resume
Thursday, May 11, 2006
For example, a surprisingly large number of people reach A Librarian's Guide to Etiquette by doing one of the following Google searches: nude librarians, nude sexy librarians, and sexy librarians (presumably the latter still being clothed). The Guide's authors can only imagine that their accidental visitors are sorely disappointed to learn that librarians, by and large, are not the least bit sexy. And more often than not (thankfully), they do wear clothes.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Sunday, May 07, 2006
The rules are simple:
- Pick a project that no one else cares about.
- Talk about your project all the time.
- Assume that your project is everyone's highest priority.
- Get defensive when no one will give you any feedback or comment on it.
"So I'm going to be changing the screensavers on all the public workstations this summer, and I was wondering if we could all meet to go over the first draft of my proposal?"
Friday, May 05, 2006
For example: A patron may ask, "What languages did the Vikings speak?" In his mind, he has communicated what he thinks is a clear information need. The librarian, however, can interpret his real information need to be, "How can I tell if I'm wearing too much cologne?"
The librarian's mission is now two-fold: a) find languages spoken by Vikings and b) let this guy know he is burning the hairs out of your nose. The first part is easy. The second may require some finesse. Be a good librarian and cough, gag, put your hand over your nose, or ask him to wait outside while you search for his answer. If he doesn't get the hint, light a match and see if he bursts into flames.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Are you crafty? Crochet a Kleenex-cozy to keep those tissues warm and comfortable. Just be sure to color coordinate it with your library's decor. Nothing ruins a good nose-blow like a mismatched tissue-box cover.
Monday, May 01, 2006
- Proudly drinking from a coffee mug bearing your new school's logo
- Gleefully bidding an early formal farewell in various committee meetings
- Unabashedly not taking notes in meetings
- Audibly counting down your remaining days at your current job
- Being happy