Friday, May 30, 2008

Innuendos, Using library

With the sexual harassment fuddy-duddies trying to ruin everyone’s fun, librarians are forced to get creative with library-related innuendos for their explicit workplace small talk. Some examples:

  • I’ve got something he can check out!
  • May I pull your call slip?
  • I’d like to cite that in the bibliography.
  • I think his index is cross-referenced.
  • I think she’s got a little mildew in her special collections.

Ask the readers: Got any other library innuendos you’d like to share? Use the comments section below.

31 comments:

Toni said...

The best innuendos don't sound like innuendos, such as "I’d like to cite that in the bibliography."

Emily Lloyd said...

I don't know, Toni--I generally agree, but I thought "a little mildew in her special collections" was brilliant.

Anonymous said...

"I'd take him to the stacks" has come in handy a couple of times.

Anonymous said...

I have the "Librarians do it quietly" shirt though it's not necessarily true. :)

Anonymous said...

"She's a few leaves short of a folio."

Anonymous said...

"You'll find him shelved at HQ450"

Anonymous said...

"How's his bib record"

Anonymous said...

This can only be used after a trip to the stacks, "That was long overdue!"

Anonymous said...

I would like to scan her barcode :-)

Marianne said...

"I'm sure the item in question will come soon if you'll place it on hold"

Or not.

heidi said...

"I think that fits under Ranganathan's apocryphal sixth law."

Anonymous said...

I'd like to catalogue her dewey decimal system

Marissa said...

You have some fines you need to pay.

maupadddant said...

"excuse me, could you suggest me a satisfying edition of the kamasutra?"

Ashlee said...

"I'd like to request THAT"

Anonymous said...

"What do you think his 300 field is - about 23 cm.?"

Anonymous said...

Can I interest you in some Longfellow or Cummings?

Anonymous said...

Not original but worst I've ever had:
Do you work in a library? Because you just increased my circulation!

Anonymous said...

I'd like to shelve her in the stacks.

And right down here are my Special Collections.

Do you mind if I query your database?

This is where I do all my reference consultations.

Would you like to consult my abstracts?

I'd like to get a couple volumes of that on interlibrary loan.

Do you offer unlimited renewals?

jenjen said...

I'd FRBRize that!

Kerri said...

This is going to sound gross, but in my old library system we had a certain term, but you had to be careful or else you might make the mistake of saying this:

"He/She needs to be discharged."

Anonymous said...

God I love "You'll find him shelved at HQ450"! I've heard a similar conversation with 613 or 618 (I think it was) in dewey. Just looked up a catalogue (go web opacs), try using 613.96!

Anonymous said...

"Archivists can make it last longer."

(off an SAA bumper sticker)

Mild Colonial Boy, Esq. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mild Colonial Boy, Esq. said...

"Might I recommend some Moorcock or some Lovecraft?"

BC said...

Hey, allow me to resensitize that...

Anonymous said...

"Librarians do it by the book."

"Cataloguers do it with authority control."

and depending what you're into...

"Anyone up for a little 306.775?"

Lisa Guidarini said...

"You can have it in any format you choose."

"Dewey you come here often?"

"I miss the days when I could have stamped your slip and slipped a card in your pocket."

"Trust me, we're full service here in Adult Services."

"We even offer drive-thru service."

bintalbalad said...

mmmm, your decimals are SOOOooo dewey!

senormedia said...

I'd like to unlock her DVD case.

Anonymous said...

"This number isn't in the Dewey Decimal system, but feel free to "check" me out when you'd like" ;)