Work, Celebrating library

Library workers should celebrate National Library Workers Day by taking the day off and watching all three The Librarian movies in one sitting.

Ask the Readers: Which of The Librarian movies most represents your experience working in a library: The Quest for the Spear, Return to King Solomon's Mines, or Curse of the Judas Chalice?

Staplers, Celebratory

In honor of National Library Week, librarians should break out the fancy staplers that are kept in the storage closet for special occasions.

"You're Welcome," Saying

Library workers should celebrate National Library Workers Day by passive aggressively muttering "You're welcome!" after refilling the stapler, unjamming the printer, and unclogging the public restroom's toilet for unthankful library patrons.

Ask the readers: How are you celebrating National Library Workers Day?

Praise, Soliciting

Library workers should celebrate National Library Workers Day by subtly explaining to their patrons that today is  National Library Workers Day and that they should probably be grateful and wish their library worker a happy National Library Workers Day.

Endorsements, Celebrity

Librarians should celebrate National Library Week by recruiting celebrities to write op-ed pieces for their local newspapers, to film televised library public service announcements, and/or to star in pro-library YouTube videos. If you don’t have access to a celebrity, it is perfectly acceptable to dress up as one and do the promotion yourself.

Tweets, Writing archive-worthy

Librarians should celebrate National Library Week by tweeting their support for libraries.  Your public Twitter posts will now be recorded for posterity by the Library of Congress, thus cementing your writing in the cultural record alongside tweets from @glennbeck, the unofficial @MTV_JerseyShore, and @fart_robot.

Posters, Motivating with

Celebrate National Library Week by staring lustfully over your glasses at your hunky celebrity READ poster while absentmindedly filing vendor invoices in your lonely cubicle.

[Link updated 4/9/12.]

Yourself, Celebrating

Librarians should celebrate National Library Week with desperate, self-congratulatory behavior, like begging patrons for written compliments about the library and ghost-writing pro-library letters to the editor.  If you think you have done an especially good job of patting yourself on the back, consider nominating yourself as a "National Library Week Star."

Without, Doing

Librarians should celebrate National Library Week by temporarily closing their libraries.  Nothing will make your patrons appreciate their libraries and librarians like going for a whole week without free books and movie rentals, free wireless Internet, and online pornography.