Candy, Throwing

Throwing candy to students as an incentive for participating in your library instruction classes gives you, the librarian, an opportunity to showcase not only your library catalog, databases, and facility, but also your glaring lack of athletic ability.

Traps, Setting

Count the Skittles in your candy dish each morning and evening to see if the library's after-hours custodial crew is eating food from your desk.  If you determine that they are, in fact, eating your candy, hide a note at the bottom of the bowl that says, "You have just been busted by a very petty librarian."

Candy, Keeping

A good librarian will always keep a dish of jelly beans around for those occasions when a coworker will bring their kids or grandkids by the office. The kids will like you and remember you if you feed them sugary treats. If, by chance, you don't like kids, just lace the jelly beans with poison.