Eco-friendly, Being

An eco-friendly librarian should use his or her personal work space to collect coworkers' recyclable trash that falls outside the library's limited recycling options. By allowing this garbage to accumulate in your office, you are simultaneously saving the planet and providing an ecosystem for the library's roaches and mice.

Green, Going

All good librarians should try to out-green their coworkers with increasingly aggressive attempts to make their library work spaces environmentally friendly.  Below are some ideas to get you started...

• Publicly berate coworkers for not using double-sided printing.
• Go "off the grid" and cut the power lines that lead to your library building.
• Hoard empty soda cans and discarded beer bottles in your office and declare the area an "Ant Sanctuary."
• Steal your coworkers' discarded apple cores and banana peels for the fly-infested compost pile you keep under your desk.
• Turn off the lights in the reading room, and demand that all patrons purchase library-issued solar-powered light caps.

Ask the readers: What aggressive green tips do you use at your library?

Earth Week, Celebrating

Librarians can celebrate Earth Week by...

• Unplugging all of the library's computers
• Burning library books to save fossil fuels
• Encouraging staff to not shower for a week
• Only circulating green books
• Using patron poop to fertilize library landscaping