Kids, Supporting your coworkers'

As a librarian you will be expected to buy overpriced magazine subscriptions, candy bars, fruit, and frozen cookie dough from your coworkers for their kids' school fundraisers. If you don't yield to these solicitations, those snot-nosed little punks might slash the tires on your library booktruck.

Candy, Keeping

A good librarian will always keep a dish of jelly beans around for those occasions when a coworker will bring their kids or grandkids by the office. The kids will like you and remember you if you feed them sugary treats. If, by chance, you don't like kids, just lace the jelly beans with poison.