Legacy, Leaving a

Decorate the librarian-side of your reference desk with hand-scrawled sticky notes, outdated scraps of paper, and dog-eared policy documents of unknown origin. Your contribution of an unlabeled call number on a Post-it will most likely outlast your career.

For extra fun, discreetly post the URL for this post somewhere on your library's reference desk (dated on the back), and see how long it lasts there.

Stapler, Loading the

Never let the library's stapler run out of staples at the reference desk. This important piece of equipment fastens more than just your partrons' sheets of paper, it holds together the entire fabric of the library profession.

Passwords, Creating

Librarians should secure sensitive information on the reference desk computer with a super-secret password, like: library, reference, reflib, libref, or refdesk. This will throw hackers for a loop, as they will be expecting something much more complicated.

Ask the readers: Share your library's lame reference desk password in the comments below. (Anonymously, of course. Otherwise the hackers might log in and change your library's reference desk schedule.)

Greatness, Defining

A good librarian will supply the reference desk with a perfectly-sized, uniform stack of call number note slips manually cut from recycled office paper. A great librarian will write an article about how to do it.

Up, Warming it

A good reference librarian should be courteous to his or her colleagues by warming the seat of the chair at the reference desk during a shift. Your fellow librarians will thank you for the posterior warmth your inactivity provides.

Be careful not to take this advice too far... no one wants to sit in a sweat-soaked seat. If your ass sweats when you answer reference questions, bring a towel.

Reference desk (Part two), Timeliness at the

A professional librarian should publicly berate colleagues who show up two minutes late for a reference desk shift. How else will the offending librarian know that he or she is inhibiting your immediate need to get a candy bar from the staff vending machine?

Reference desk, Timeliness at the

Librarians should be aware that showing up two minutes late for your reference desk shift will make your colleagues hate you. Your fellow librarians are petty people who measure their grievances in minutes and seconds.

Directional questions, Answering

Reference librarians should never admit that a large percentage of their work days are spent telling people how to get to their library's restrooms.

Reference, Redefining

When writing haikus about the reference desk, a librarian must face the question: does the word reference have three syllables (ref' er ens) or two (ref' rens)? Unsure? Avoid the question altogether by assigning the desk a more up-to-date name. Some examples:

• Research Consultation and Referral Desk (11 syllables)
• Information Commons Control Center (10 syllables)
• The Place Where the Magic Happens (8 syllables)
• Center of the Universe (7 syllables)
• Concierge (2 syllables)

Want to try your hand at writing a reference desk (... or whatever you want to call it) -inspired haiku? Give it a shot in the comments section below.

Coworkers, Diagnosing the mental health of your

With your idle time at the reference desk, use the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders to analyze the mental health of your library coworkers. They're all in there somewhere. (And so are you.)

Ask the readers: Is there a prevalence of one particular mental disorder at your library? (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder? Asperger's? Borderline Personality Disorder?) Let us know in the comments section below.

Reference desk time, Idle

Librarians sometimes have down time at the reference desk when business is slow, but there is no clear consensus on how that idle time should be spent. Is it better to be productive (and perhaps distracted) or unoccupied (and perhaps bored)?

Should a librarian bring office work to do at the desk? Or is it appropriate to read a book or a newspaper? Should a librarian stare into space? Leer at patrons? Should a librarian knit? Balance a checkbook? Clip fingernails?

Today, we ask the readers: What do you do with your down time at the reference desk? Post your answers in the comments section below.