Team Blog, On Not posting on one for almost one whole calendar year

Create mystery and give yourself an artifical sense of importance by not posting on a blog of which you are a team member for long periods of time (preferably for at least one year). New readers will wonder who you are and spastically search through your old posts in order to get a sense of what you stand for and for whom you voted in 2004. Old readers will try to score hipness points by saying 'Oh, yeah, I remember that guy. I always knew there was more than one person running that g*dd*mned blog.' The oldest readers, though, will chime in and remind everyone that there were actually 3 original bloggers here and that the poster formerly known as 'El Señor' passed away after making only a single post in January of 2005. The body was never found.

Hipster status, Determining your

If you think you might be a hipster librarian, but you're not exactly sure, ask yourself the following question: "Do I socialize with other librarians?"

If you answered yes to this question, you are probably not as hip as you think you are.

Nemesis, Choosing a

Every librarian should identify a nemesis within their library. This person can bear the brunt of all your frustration, moaning, and general ill will. Think of this colleague, patron, or pesky employee as the mascot for your misery. No search committee required.

Breakfast party, Choosing food for a

Some foods should be avoided for breakfast potluck parties at your library. Some examples include: potato salad, Doritos, and cigarettes. Sometimes it's better to bring nothing at all.

Dreams, Describing your

Never give a library coworker a play-by-play account of last night's dream. It's never as interesting to the other person as it is to you. Exceptions can be made for sexuality explicit or graphically violent dreams involving a boss or a common enemy.

Job titles, Sharing

A librarian should always spare non-librarians from hearing their actual job titles. No one cares that you are the "Coordinator for Interlibrary Loan, Resource Sharing, and Document Delivery Services." Saying "librarian" will be sufficiently boring.

Ask the readers: Share your unusually long (yet official) job title in the comments section below.

Graphic novels, Embracing

Every library has at least one librarian who is a graphic novel enthusiast. This person will argue vehemently for a new graphic novel collection for your library. Give him a paltry budget to spend each year just to shut him up. It will be money well spent.