Passwords, Creating

Librarians should secure sensitive information on the reference desk computer with a super-secret password, like: library, reference, reflib, libref, or refdesk. This will throw hackers for a loop, as they will be expecting something much more complicated.

Ask the readers: Share your library's lame reference desk password in the comments below. (Anonymously, of course. Otherwise the hackers might log in and change your library's reference desk schedule.)

Plants, Killing

There is a reason plants won't grow in your library office. Your PowerPoint presentations suck the life out of them.

Viruses, Getting

Computer viruses only attack library computers that are being operated by the elderly, the feeble, and those with weak constitutions. Oh, and perverts. If your staff computer becomes infected, it is best to set it on fire and avoid being identified as one or more of the above.

Snuggies, Wearing

Yes, they make your sweatpants look dressy, but no, Snuggies are never appropriate library workplace attire.

Tools, Emerging

Some librarians believe that "there is a cry for emerging tools" (1:32) rising up from today's library patrons. That cry seems to have been answered.

Names, Dropping

Quote "A Librarian's Guide to Etiquette" in your ALA Midwinter conference presentation, and you'll be entered in a drawing for a free LGTE mug. Send proof of your quotation to polite.librarian@gmail.com.

Not going to ALA Midwinter? Wow, it must suck to be you.

Conferences, Tweeting

Write your twitter name on your ALA Midwinter nametag so that attendees can easily identify fellow library conference tweeters. This will allow for face-to-face tweeting, eliminating the need for awkward eye contact and talking with other humans. #alamw10