Expertise, Establishing

Always begin your answer to a reference question by stating your educational credentials.  Your master's degrees in library science and English literature will lend credibility to your directions to the nearest restroom.

April Fools' Day, Celebrating

Celebrate April Fools' Day by telling playfully outlandish tales to your library patrons, like, "The library web site is a good alternative to Google!" or "I would love to hear about your family genealogy!"  Hilarity will ensue.

Ask the readers: What outlandish tales will you tell this April Fools' Day?

Yums, Yucking

The best birthday gift you can give a library coworker is to refrain from discussing your Irritable Bowel Syndrome, food allergies, eating disorders, and/or vegetarianism during her office birthday lunch outing.

Drinks, Dribbling

If you are going to spill dribbles of tea or coffee onto the floor as you leave the library's break room, please be kind enough to leave a trail that leads all the way back to your office.  This courtesy will allow the custodians to easily track you down and beat you mercilessly with their mops.

Booktruck dance teams, Avoiding

Never agree to be on a library committee without first reading its charge.  Sometimes an innocuous sounding group, like the "Collection Assessment Revisioning Team," turns out to be the code name for your library's secret book cart dance troupe. And, yes, costumes are mandatory.

Handouts, Displaying

Never clean off your library's service desks.  Your display of outdated flyers, bookmarks, maps, comment cards, business cards, fast food coupons, calendars, newsletters, free newspapers, path finders, search tip sheets, and database help guides can just be buried beneath their new, more up-to-date replacements.

Victories, Celebrating

Librarians should celebrate monumental workplace victories with Gatorade showers. A meeting that lasts less than one hour? Give the committee chair a Gatorade shower! Faculty members who return books before their due dates? Give them a Gatorade shower! A class in which students make eye contact and respond to you? Give yourself a Gatorade shower! While costly clean-up can be an issue, the rarity of these events should minimize any damages.

Ask the readers: What "victories" would deserve a Gatorade shower @ your library?