Schlepping, Stylishly

A librarian should use a square-bottomed, post-consumer recycled Trader Joe's grocery tote as a briefcase or purse.  It is large enough to hold your knitting, your book, your laptop, your cats, and your enormous lack of fashion sense.

Interviews (Women), Dressing for

When dressing for a library job interview, a female candidate should always match her twinset to her socks. (The latter will show through your dressy work Crocs).

Ask the readers: What do you think female librarians should wear to a library job interview?

Interviews (Men), Dressing for

When dressing for a library job interview, male candidates should wear one, and no more than one, of the following items to increase their chances of landing the position:

• a book- or literature-themed necktie
• a cell phone on your belt
• a kilt
• a porn mustache
• your LARP costume

Choose wisely, and good luck!

Ask the readers: What do you think male librarians should wear to a library job interview?

Talk, Girl

Librarians should feel free to casually discuss menstrual cycles, menopause, and feminine hygiene/grooming around the library workspace.  Don't worry about scandalizing your library's male librarian.  He had his testicles removed as part of library school "orientation."

Military, Going

Librarians should embrace their inner drill sergeants and become "information warriors" in the library instruction classroom.  Knit yourself a camouflaged cardigan, convert your classroom into a bibliographic boot camp, and put in a work order to have your bookmobile converted into a tank.

Success, Dressing for

Your library coworkers maintain a spreadsheet documenting how often you wear your favorite outfit, and so should you.

Humiliation, Feeling

A librarian should never allow her-/himself to be videotaped while dancing and singing about libraries.  Find the part of yourself that says, "This will be cute!" and remove it from your body with a dull letter opener.