Manga, Collecting

Comic book-loving librarians should refer to their beloved medium as anime and/or manga.  Doing so will cause your library colleagues to suddenly recognize your interest as a legitimate genre and give you lots of money to build a collection at your library.  If this doesn't work,  you can always return to your strategy of drawing half-naked, doe-eyed Japanese girl samurais and posting them in your cubicle.

Language, Emerging

If your library colleagues tire of hearing you talk about Web 2.0 tools at your library, switch things up and start referring to the same tools as "emerging technologies."  This can buy you up to two more weeks of being the Facebook librarian.

Vampire Lovers, Slaying

If a library colleague goes overboard with his or her love of vampire novels, it is your responsibility to stab that person through the heart with a wooden newspaper stick.

Conferences, Returning from

Upon returning from a professional library conference, your post-conference report should include more than a list of restaurants you visited and a random collection of vendor brochures.  Also leave out the part about waking up in an alley nine days after the conference officially ended.

Conference, Putting the "er" in

A good librarian will go to library conferences and sit through mind-numbing presentations made by other librarians.  Repeat this mind-numbing ritual over and over again for three solid days, and you will be mentally ready to go back to your job at the library.

Editor's note: Your esteemed editor will be taking a break from the blog to attend the Annual Conference of the American Library Association in Washington, DC.  In the meantime, you can follow your colleagues' notable breaches of library etiquette via Twitter at: http://twitter.com/politelibrarian.

Fluids, Discussing bodily

Librarians should never discuss bodily fluids [including, but not limited to: urine, vomit, earwax, gastric juice, breast milk, mucus, phlegm, pus, saliva, sebum, semen, snot, vaginal secretions, sweat, tears, amniotic fluid, diarrhea, smegma, and blood] in the library work place... unless those fluids are found on recently-returned library books.

Music, Your choice of

Polite librarians know that their officemates hate their choice of low-playing music in the library workplace. If you insist on playing music in your office space, choose something that you both hate so that you can ridicule it together.

Ask the readers: What is the worst music you have had to endure in your library?