Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Alcohol, Drinking while on the job

It's ok to abuse alcohol if it means that your personality will be more tolerable to your co-workers and to the library patrons. Special attention should be given to the masking of routine signs of alcohol abuse such as slurred speech, releasing of strong alcoholic odor on the breath, falling down flights of stairs, and the grabbing of someone's ass. If your boss happens to be a lush, then inviting him/her to one of your daily lunch hour binges might not be such a bad idea. Members of the Good Ol' Boy Network don't have an unfair advantage in the job market because they kept their teetotaler asses tucked away quietly in a corner avoiding eye contact with the boss.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You… you are … you’re… you’re the great… greatest. I love… I love you guys. Really! Really, I’m not… *hiccup* I’m not just saying that. Zzzzz…

Anonymous said...

Other good advice: avoid gin and vodka; stick to bourbon and scotch. That way your boss will know your drunk and not stupid.

Anonymous said...

Had a substitute who was a pillpopper work with me one time. She passed out while keying in a catalog search.

I have, in the past, come to work chemically altered just to make the job more of a challenge, but I always regret it because, inevitably, there is a really challenging reference question or staff management situation waiting for me.