- You are bored with being a librarian
- You have some serious insecurities to overcome
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
- autobiographical communication perspectives in Facebook user profiles
- the effects of high bandwidth speed on illegal file sharing
- a "how they do it" demonstration on student plagiarism
- feminism and gender identity in pornographic depictions of big beautiful women
- a participative ethnographic study of librarians' hostility towards cell phones, loud iPod ear buds, and unapproved beverage containers
Friday, November 07, 2008
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Ask the readers: Have libraries already jumped the (technological) shark? If so, when? And how?
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Ask the readers: The editors will now accept motions from the floor (e.g., "I hereby move that...")
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
- I promote literacy
- I support free speech
- I am an advocate for communities
- I am a defender of civil liberties
- I am an educator
Ask the readers: Share your own self-righteous library affirmations in the comments below.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Ask the readers: What inspired the most recent flaming email at your library?
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
- a reconfigured floorplan for your office or workspace
- caricatures of the other people in the room
- Pac-Man (eating bullet points)
- flowers and rainbows
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
- the village idiot
- the insecure scholar
- the Pollyanna
- the skanky slut
- the pretty one
Ask the readers: What other characters belong on the library payroll?
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Ask the readers: What is your biggest guilty pleasure?
Friday, June 27, 2008
- Your favorite library-themed t-shirt
- Your laptop (for live blogging the Distance Learning Interest Group's business meeting)
- Your knitting (for times when you're not live blogging)
- An extra empty suitcase (for all that vendor swag)
- A bottle of your favorite liquor (for the "Web 2.0" drinking game)
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
- "We Will Rock You" - Queen
- "Gonna Make You Sweat" - C+C Music Factory
- "Search & Destroy" -- Iggy and the Stooges
- "Whoomp! There It Is" - Tag Team
- Or any funeral dirge of your choice
Monday, June 23, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Library administrators should be "pro-choice" when it comes to librarians' fanaticism with ink pens. The additional cost of each Pilot G-2 05 will be money well spent if it helps quell a librarian uprising.
Ask the readers: What is your favorite pen, and what makes it so special?
Friday, June 13, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Friday, June 06, 2008
Feel free to leave expired dairy products, decomposing produce, and months-old Mexican leftovers in the library’s staff refrigerator. Leave exploded gravy from your frozen Lean Cuisine lunch to dry on the interior walls of the staff microwave. Leave empty ice trays and dirty coffee mugs in the library’s break room sink for someone else to wash.
But never allow a patron to bring food or drink into the library. Patrons are filthy, dirty people.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Make sure that you make it perfectly clear to everybody around you that you prefer one computer format over the other in loud, snortling, condescending tones. If you hear someone in the distance mentioning having computer problems with a PC, go over to the person, shaking your head and rolling your eyes, and say something patronizing like "pssshaw, you use a PC?" and force an audible passive-aggressive laugh as you walk away. Then saunter off Dubya-style like a cowboy knowing that, even though you didn't invent the Mac, you are a far superior and smarter person for having purchased the better platform.
Friday, May 30, 2008
With the sexual harassment fuddy-duddies trying to ruin everyone’s fun, librarians are forced to get creative with library-related innuendos for their explicit workplace small talk. Some examples:
- I’ve got something he can check out!
- May I pull your call slip?
- I’d like to cite that in the bibliography.
- I think his index is cross-referenced.
- I think she’s got a little mildew in her special collections.
Ask the readers: Got any other library innuendos you’d like to share? Use the comments section below.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
If your library’s patrons are having a hard time navigating the wealth of information on the library web site, create online video tutorials to demonstrate some simulated searches. If your patrons can’t figure out how to use the tutorials, create a “How to use this tutorial” web page. You can then print this page and hand it to patrons when they wander to the desk and ask you how to search for information.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Librarians who use waterless soap to repeatedly wash their hands should consider investing in disposable surgical gloves to keep germs at bay. One can never be too careful… there’s no telling who’s been rubbing their ass all over your keyboard.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Librarians should try to carve out part of their library work days for knitting, crocheting, and needlework. Appropriate occasions for doing crafts include your reference desk shifts, staff meetings, and professional development workshops. If these subtle cries for help don’t work, try broadcasting your sexual frustration by starting one of those “I’m a knitting librarian” blogs.
Friday, May 23, 2008
- Pick a corny acronym.
- Find words that loosely fit letters in acronym.
- Form a subcommittee to look into changing the name of the committee to a fit a new corny acronym.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Nothing stings like having someone call you by your given name as they ask you for directions to the toilet.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Ask the readers: Got a coworker who collects weird stuff? Let us know in the comments section below.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
All librarians are notoriously bad dressers (even the ones who think they look ok) so suddenly dressing and grooming yourself in a professional and appealing manner will serve as one hell of a tool for terrorizing your boss. Most library managers are massively insecure and seeing an old employee suddenly look good will make them think that you are looking for another job or even possibly in the process of interviewing. That will create work down the line for your boss as he/she scrambles to start their own interviewing process thereby making it impossible for them to take a 3-hour 'lunch.' Note: possible consequences might include the boss taking time out from his/her incredibly busy day to talk to you more often than usual in an effort to find out what the hell is going on with you and all your fancy suits. Play your cards right and never deny (or admit) anything. This should make up for the pathetic raise you got last year.
Men, bonus points for wearing hats like the gents in the pic.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
Friday, February 29, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
If your co-worker has a conscientious objection to using soap and water to wash him/herself and the odor makes you dizzy and suicidal, solve the problem by going down to the pharmacy and buying the strongest air-freshening product available. For added visual humor, buy one of those royal pine scented Car-Freshners and hang it near the offending stench factory.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Patrons need rules, restrictive signage, and librarian "cup cops" to keep them from making a mockery of our profession.
Ask the Readers: Cup cops? Beverage bobbies? Who enforces your library's "approved container" rules?