Thursday, August 09, 2007

Kids, On not bringing yours into the office

It's a time-honored tradition to bring your kids (the smaller and cuter, the better) to work with you in an attempt to avoid doing any meaningful work while co-workers go apeshit over their precious precociousness. Avoid doing this, though, if you don't want people to think that you're a complete asshole. Bringing your kids to work means that when you fuck something up, nobody can really tell you off because you'll have your young, impressionable tots to shield you from any verbal confrontations. It also means that while you're making the rounds and introducing your brats to the entire HR staff (and whomever else happens to be in the office that day) you're allowed to not do any real work, necessitating that your much smarter childless co-workers will have to take up the slack. Having a bullet-proof reason to be in the office while doing jack shit all day will only make everybody hate you more you Starbucks-drinking, SUV-driving, Dave Matthews-listening loser.

21 comments:

Michael said...

No reason to pull Dave Matthews into the fray!!! But, agreed on all else. The missing perspective, I was once one of those children and hated every bit of being introduced to every strange and weird adult I never wanted to see again.

mimi said...

Are uptight martyr-making library directors who never talk about accomodating their employees' family lives considered assholes too? Tevs! Also, when a dude tows in his kids and lets them run wild, it's ADORABLE, but any woman who would do such is obviously trying to slack?

Anonymous said...

Ah, so true. It's especially wearying when the same kids make repeated appearances within one season. Enough already. (Though I have to admit that I've occasionally enjoyed watching some child-wary coworker try to interact successfully with a small child....)

Anonymous said...

OMG I have had bosses AND coworkers bring in their devil's spawn and had them crawling under my desk unplugging my computers dripping crackers and juice throwing screaming fits while the parents of these brats smile so benignly aren't they cute? I go home and get majorly drunk and call in sick for two days.

Brian said...

Working somewhere were people can know about people's lives is an important thing to make work more enjoyable. If you don't have an element of knowledge about the people you work with it can make work pretty difficult to go to.

Anonymous said...

Do I sense a little bitterness here? I wouldn't want little ones in the office for any length of time (mine or yours), but I also know it can be good for kids to see the place where dad or mom disappear to for a major part of the day. Once. Show the office/cubicle/desk to the kids. Don't introduce them to everyone. Take/send them home. Make it quick and simple.

The more co-workers you introduce your kids to, the more chance the little one will ask "Is that the man you said is full of hot air?" (or worse).

- - - Kurt

Cathleen said...

No longer is the term "childless." It is now referred to as "childfree."

Jessamyn said...

I'm sensing some overlap with library_mofo today, but maybe this is just a common mofo problem.

Anonymous said...

Coworkers who think their job doubles as daycare? Yikes! Where do I even begin?

Julie said...

one of my coworkers frequently has one or more of her FIVE children with her, yet I can't bring my dog on Take Your Dog to Work Day. Pfffttt!

Monster Library Student said...

This is so funny...and so damn true!

Liz said...

You are so right on this! And if they adopted them, it's bonus points! If they adopted them from a foreign country, then I'll be doing my job and theirs while everybody adores their children.

Anonymous said...

So, because you've chosen not to have children, I have to make absolutely sure YOU are comfortable in every aspect of your job? Wow. It really is all about YOU, huh? Good thing you're so much smarter than the rest of us poor bastards. Would you like me to get you a coffee? Peel you a grape? Fan you with a large palm branch? You must need it as I assume you NEVER, EVER take even the tiniest of breaks from your own work to, oh - drone on and on about how great some weekend date, or entertainment whatever was so much fun or worse, boring, blah, blah, blah... You want pained expressions? Keep on telling those of us with kids at home how absolutely busy, important and exhausted you always are.

I've got two kids, I love them and I DON'T take them into the office to make your day shitty. I occasionally take one or the other there when my day is already pretty shitty. It is an attempt at bing a parent AND a responsible worker (e.g., I've got a sick kid and a bunch of crap on my calandar I don't want to dump on anyone else.)

So, you don't have kids and on a rare occasion have to suffer a few minutes with mine? Get over it. And, I don't know where you get the idea that only we family-types drive SUVs and drink coffe. Where I live not many of us can afford them...

Anonymous said...

You bring your sick kids to work?

Anonymous said...

Oh please. This is what I hate about blogging, I knew someone would make this assumption and ignore any other points I might be trying to make. For the record, NO I absolutely do not bring my sick kids into work. I stay home with them and then am faced with EXACTLY the kind of sympathy the original blog poster exhibits. I'm lazy because my kid "gets me out of work" by being ill.

There are rare times, when my child has a 99.5 temperature and a runny nose. By state law I cannot take my child to daycare. My child may still be well enough to run around and drive me crazy, but my daycare provider cannot have kids over 99.5, so I have to run into my office with said child in tow to try and make alternative arrangements for classes I'm teaching, meetings I'm going to have to miss, appointments I have to reschedule, etc. So, on these rare occasions, and for these short moments in time, I do not need the dirty looks and judgmental stares I get from my non-child co-workers. I'm trying to do my job AND take care of my kid the best way I know how and I am sick of being damned if I do and damned if I don't.

End of rant. I can't believe I even got sucked into this in the first place.

Anonymous said...

You don't call a 99.5 fever sick?

Anonymous said...

A 99.5 fever just means the motrin/tylenol wasn't administered in time to kick in for the child care provider...

Anonymous said...

I am not allowed to have my child at work while i am working. i bring him in on my days off so he can use the library and choose his own books/ movies and use the internet (no, i do not have internet at home because i cannot afford it, so i do not drive an suv and do not buy my coffee premade). we visit those who seem enthusiastic to see him and ask how he is frequently, we stop and politely say hello to the others we pass to be polite but not pushy with his presence. i enjoy hearing about my coworkers families and care about what happens to them and appreciate their caring about my child. this makes working here tolerable most days. and hey, people are more understanding when i call in because my child is sick than when someone we know is not sick calls in AGAIN on yet another saturday when the weather is nice... ( believe me, i would much rather work than worry about my sick child and clean the entire kitchen floor 3 times in one day because he projectile vomited before he made it to the bathroom and did not use the sick bucket i gave him)

Anonymous said...

To all of you out there: please leave your brats at home! Child-free or busy (save the pun), no one cares about your pet/child, but you and you alone. Others are not obliged to get stupid over yours and loose their time at work. If the thing is sick, stay home, you should be allowed to take a day off. Have some reticence about your private life, because when you choose to share your joy over your kids with others, they might not necessarily feel the same way.

A considerate mom

Anonymous said...

I would say that I agree with both sides on this one. Those of you who do not have children and are attacking those that do are being pretty ignorant and mean. Granted bringing your children in to work and forcing them on others is also very mean. If somebody is in a tight spot and needs to bring a child in to also get work done so that YOU don't have to pick it all up is a very considerate person. You should THANK them for caring enough about you to not just not go and leave everything they need to do to those of you who aren't in the same situation as them.

Anonymous said...

^^ nice blog!! ^@^

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