Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
If a patron calls five minutes after the library closes and leaves a long, rambling, desperate voicemail message on your reference desk phone, it is perfectly acceptable to wake the patron with a return call five minutes before the library opens at 7:00 AM.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Librarians should routinely participate in team-building games with their library colleagues to increase morale around the workplace. Some suggestions:
- Play "Pin the Security Tape on the Hateful Patron"
- Give one another "Date Due"-stamp tattoos
- Do "trust falls" from the Circulation Desk
- Host a book truck demolition derby
- Play Dodge-Book (i.e., throwing books at one another)
Monday, August 23, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Upon returning from sick leave, polite librarians should always share graphic descriptions of their ailments with their library coworkers. Always assume that a simple, "How are you feeling?" is actually a request to hear about the consistency of your vomit, see your surgical scars, and/or feel the texture of your rash.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
The next time you get down on librarianship and start thinking, "I went to graduate school so that I could get a job that requires me to work nights and weekends?!" just remember that you could be working in a fast food joint.
Friday, August 06, 2010
A good librarian will always be on the lookout for his or her colleagues who are prone to procrastination. Be vigilant as you patrol for the following behaviors @ your library:
- Uncharacteristic desk cleaning / filing
- Sharpening golf pencils for the reference desk
- Repeatedly retyping and laminating one's "To do" list
- Making voodoo dolls out of paperclips
- Policing other people's procrastination
Thursday, August 05, 2010
The best way to correct a fellow coworker's breach of library protocol is to send an email to everyone at your workplace reminding them of the policy that one person violated. Humiliation is best served passive aggressively. And via mass email.
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
Monday, August 02, 2010
The reference desk is a great place to catch up on your personal grooming. If you need to trim your nails, style your hair, apply cosmetics, or pick the remains of lunch from your teeth, wait until you are working at the reference desk. Please reserve more intimate forms of grooming (like shaving, waxing, plucking, and flossing) for your office or cubicle.