Thursday, August 25, 2011

Rules, Enforcing the

All back-to-school library orientation sessions should include video footage of librarians murdering patrons who don’t follow the rules.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Appreciated, Being

A polite librarian should never encourage patrons who are prone to stalking the library’s public service staff. Instead, have those creepy patrons channel their obsessions into nominations for the I Love My Librarian Award. If you win, you can spend the $5,000 cash award to hire a personal body guard to protect you from your nominator.