Monday, April 28, 2008

Dressing, On how to use as a torture device

All librarians are notoriously bad dressers (even the ones who think they look ok) so suddenly dressing and grooming yourself in a professional and appealing manner will serve as one hell of a tool for terrorizing your boss. Most library managers are massively insecure and seeing an old employee suddenly look good will make them think that you are looking for another job or even possibly in the process of interviewing. That will create work down the line for your boss as he/she scrambles to start their own interviewing process thereby making it impossible for them to take a 3-hour 'lunch.' Note: possible consequences might include the boss taking time out from his/her incredibly busy day to talk to you more often than usual in an effort to find out what the hell is going on with you and all your fancy suits. Play your cards right and never deny (or admit) anything. This should make up for the pathetic raise you got last year.

Men, bonus points for wearing hats like the gents in the pic.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Wikipedia, Bemoaning

A librarian should never give a presentation without making an uncomfortable reference to patrons' use of Wikipedia. It helps if you claim to do this from atop your soapbox.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Goodbye, Saying

Show your library colleagues how much you will miss them by giving a demonstration and lecture on the Reader's Guide to Periodical Literature as your retirement party speech. Then, ride off into the sunset on your booktruck.

Monday, April 14, 2008

National Library Week, Celebrating

It's National Library Week. Celebrate by taking a snort from the flask you keep in your fanny pack.