Monday, February 28, 2011

Popular, Being

Librarians should make pop culture references in library instruction classes to connect with younger audiences.  Today's youth are all about the Lady Gogga, Justin Bibber, and New Jersey Shore, so pretend that you are too.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Video, Going straight to

Librarians should occasionally record video of themselves conducting a reference interview so that they can evaluate and improve their skills at the reference desk. Before you record yourself answering the question, politely ask the patron to wait a moment while you apply your make-up, do a sound check, and take a light reading.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Restrooms, Gendering

When an androgynous patron asks you to point him or her to the library's restroom, librarians can avoid any awkwardness by...
  • Giving them directions to the "family" restroom.
  • Saying, "Our restrooms are closed for cleaning."
  • Mumbling something about a jammed printer and running away.
  • Pulling the fire alarm.
  • Handing them a paper cup and saying, "Just use this."

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Coffee, Making

A polite librarian should never empty the library's staff coffee pot.  Always leave one half-cup warming so that a coworker can get the pleasure of sifting the burned dregs through her teeth as she makes a fresh pot for you to enjoy.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Animated, Being

When interviewing for a library job, applicants should demonstrate their "excellent interpersonal skills" by talking like a robot and gesticulating wildly.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Current, Keeping it

Librarians should expedite the processing of books with short lifespans.  New textbooks, computer software manuals, and anything about social media should be cataloged upon arrival and immediately weeded to make room for something more current.