Coffee, Making

A polite librarian should never empty the library's staff coffee pot.  Always leave one half-cup warming so that a coworker can get the pleasure of sifting the burned dregs through her teeth as she makes a fresh pot for you to enjoy.

Drinks, Dribbling

If you are going to spill dribbles of tea or coffee onto the floor as you leave the library's break room, please be kind enough to leave a trail that leads all the way back to your office.  This courtesy will allow the custodians to easily track you down and beat you mercilessly with their mops.

Staff break room, Using the

Feel free to leave expired dairy products, decomposing produce, and months-old Mexican leftovers in the library’s staff refrigerator. Leave exploded gravy from your frozen Lean Cuisine lunch to dry on the interior walls of the staff microwave. Leave empty ice trays and dirty coffee mugs in the library’s break room sink for someone else to wash.

But never allow a patron to bring food or drink into the library. Patrons are filthy, dirty people.