Ignorance, Feigning

Librarians should never admit to liking sports, commercial television, or Oreo cookies. If anyone asks you for your opinion about Oreo’s library-themed Super Bowl commercial, feign ignorance and indignantly claim to have been watching Masterpiece Classic's "Downton Abbey" with a cup of decaf herbal tea.

Drinks, Dribbling

If you are going to spill dribbles of tea or coffee onto the floor as you leave the library's break room, please be kind enough to leave a trail that leads all the way back to your office.  This courtesy will allow the custodians to easily track you down and beat you mercilessly with their mops.