Coffee, Making

A polite librarian should never empty the library's staff coffee pot.  Always leave one half-cup warming so that a coworker can get the pleasure of sifting the burned dregs through her teeth as she makes a fresh pot for you to enjoy.

Tip jars, Setting out

It is perfectly acceptable for librarians to put out a tip jar at the library reference desk. The daily proceeds can be used to buy one cup of coffee to be shared amongst all of your staff as recognition for a job well done.

Coffee, Making

Never complain that your library's secretary makes terrible coffee. Instead, fire the secretary and hire a barista.

Drinks, Dribbling

If you are going to spill dribbles of tea or coffee onto the floor as you leave the library's break room, please be kind enough to leave a trail that leads all the way back to your office.  This courtesy will allow the custodians to easily track you down and beat you mercilessly with their mops.

Mug, Your ugly

Librarians should choose clever coffee mugs to express themselves creatively around the workplace. A person's mug says a lot about him or her. For example, your "An oyster a day keeps the Viagra away!" mug explains to your library colleagues both your bad breath and your boners.

Ask the readers: What's the best/worst coffee mug used at your library?

Coffee, Fixing the

A polite librarian will sneak into the library staff's coffee stash, empty the Folgers Half-Caff canister, and refill it with the good stuff. You can make your library a better place.