Lunch break, Strategically timing your

Never take your lunch break before your boss does. Wait ten minutes after the boss leaves before you take your own break. This allows you the opportunity to take a long lunch without the boss knowing when you actually left. This is also known as "the oldest trick in the book."

Note: Complications arise when your boss is using the oldest trick in the book with his/her boss. Depending on how many upline supervisors you have, it could be 3 or 4 in the afternoon before you get to eat lunch.

Elitist, Being

You are a librarian. Hold this over the heads of your support staff and constantly remind them of the social stratification within the library work place. Don't do tasks that are beneath your level. Be sure to have exclusive, closed-door librarian meetings. Always keep your day-to-day tasks and responsibilities shrouded in mystery. You aren't a good librarian unless people wonder what you do all day.

Besides, if the staff don't think you're important, who else will?

Ties, Wearing

Don't wear a tie to work. Your coworkers will make fun of you. And you will deserve it.

Water words, Using

Always make sure everyone knows how very busy you are. Repetition is key. I'm busy. Oh, so busy. One way to really drive home the point is by using water words to describe how busy you are:

• I'm swamped
• I'm drowning
• I'm barely able to keep my head above water
• I'm barely able to tread water
  
• I'm flooded
• I'm in over my head
• I'm sinking

I'd list more examples, but I'm too bogged down to spend any more time on this post.