Infections, Resisting

Librarians should disinfect public workstations and telephones after each use to avoid the spread of MRSA and other staph infections.

Recognize, however, that no amount of Lysol can remove your library's staff infection.

Friends, Making

A librarian should never reject the friendship of another person in the social networking Library 2.0 online environment. There are lots of perverts out there who need "friends" too.

Silly, Twittering yourself

Librarians who participate in the Web 2.0-world of Twitter, should heed these general etiquette rules:

1. Set up a second Twitter account for your anonymous self.
2. Recognize that this activity is not considered working.
3. Always wash your hands after you tweet.
4. Never shit where you tweet.
5. Make your twitter updates as mundane as humanly possible.
   

Much like fornicating and drinking, one may tweet alone, but it is more fun to do it with someone else... the more, the merrier.

Nominating, Self-

Never nominate yourself for an award or prize even if self-nominations are encouraged. Such egotistical gestures are undignified, vain, and narcissistic. Instead, delegate this task to one of your subordinates.