Hashtags, Air

Librarians should pepper their face-to-face conversations with air hashtags (similar to air quotes) to simulate discourse in the online environment. Because the American Library Association has been completely silent -- hashtag FAIL -- on developing a standardized air hashtag for professional library discourse, individual librarians are left to choose between the static hand sign and slightly more dramatic hand gesture. Until the ALA makes a recommendation, librarians should choose one air hashtag method and use it consistently. Doing otherwise will make your library colleagues think you are uncivilized.

Boredom, Alleviating

If you are bored by your work at the library, spice up your day by reading tweets from other librarians who document their boring workdays on Twitter.

Interviews, Preparing for

Librarians should always prepare for job interviews by stalking their interviewers on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media tools.  Nothing says, "I have mad research skills!" like sharing your intimate knowledge of a complete stranger's personal life.

Tweets, Writing archive-worthy

Librarians should celebrate National Library Week by tweeting their support for libraries.  Your public Twitter posts will now be recorded for posterity by the Library of Congress, thus cementing your writing in the cultural record alongside tweets from @glennbeck, the unofficial @MTV_JerseyShore, and @fart_robot.

Tweets, Printing your

As many libraries and librarians embrace Twitter as a medium for professional correspondence and writing, they should be mindful to print their Tweets (individually; one per page) for inclusion in performance review portfolios.  Your reviewers will appreciate this documentation and will no doubt reward you for your concise writing style, your conscientious hashtagging, and your prolific professional "conversations" with yourself.

Conferences, Tweeting

Write your twitter name on your ALA Midwinter nametag so that attendees can easily identify fellow library conference tweeters. This will allow for face-to-face tweeting, eliminating the need for awkward eye contact and talking with other humans. #alamw10

Silly, Twittering yourself

Librarians who participate in the Web 2.0-world of Twitter, should heed these general etiquette rules:

1. Set up a second Twitter account for your anonymous self.
2. Recognize that this activity is not considered working.
3. Always wash your hands after you tweet.
4. Never shit where you tweet.
5. Make your twitter updates as mundane as humanly possible.
   

Much like fornicating and drinking, one may tweet alone, but it is more fun to do it with someone else... the more, the merrier.