Fanny packs, Contents and Sharing of

If you must wear a fanny pack at all times, please be considerate of others when removing personal items. Loose cigarettes, data projector cords, matches, utensils (especially knives) and saltine packets should not be placed on the reference desk while you search for a pencil. Ask to borrow a pencil. No one wants to know the contents of your fanny pack. Ever.

Sports, Not admitting to liking

Don't admit to your colleagues that you like sports, lest you be thought of as low brow.

J

Stereotypes, Living up to

Librarians are really hung up on avoiding the popular librarian stereotypes. Why?! Embrace your identity! It's all about the hair buns, thick glasses, and index finger shushing action! The dowdier the better. Keep it old-school.

J

Dress Code, The Unofficial Librarian

Your library may or may not have a dress code, and levels of formality vary from institution to institution. Consistency is important though. If you are the librarian who comes to work with holes in the knees of your jeans, do it every day. If you wear a tie, wear a tie every day. If you wear a cardigan, wear one every day. There is nothing wrong with living like a cartoon character.

J

Library Job Interviews, Dirty Words in

The following words and phrases should not be used among library staff when you are interviewing for a job as the new boss:

• outsourcing
• cross-training
• paradigm shift
• planful
  
• information commons

See also, the March 24 entry for "Buzzword Bingo, Creating your own game of."

J

Serials, on Monopolizing

When a new serial (that's MLS-speak for 'magazine') makes its way to the cataloging department, make sure that you park all of the most popular titles on top of your magazine stash in the corner of your desk until they are outdated. NEVER put an issue of Vogue on the magazine stacks until after the star on the cover is the subject of a Where Are They Now article in People Magazine.

Cursing aloud, Reference patrons and

Patrons are allowed to curse aloud in the reference room... Especially if they are old and are frustrated that you can't satisfactorily "ask the computer" to find the right kind of replacement tips for their walking cane.

Example: "No! That's the same shit they sell down at the drug store! I need something that will last more than a damn week!"

You are not, however, allowed to curse back at them.

J

Patrons, Fraternizing with

You are a professional. Do not have sex or do drugs with patrons.

J

Escape, Planning an

If you are locked in the library after hours and you don't have keys to get out, do not call campus security. Jump out the window, break your leg, and sue the library director instead.

J

Candy dishes, Eating from

A decorative candy dish left in plain sight on a desk is usually an open invitation to stop by, chat, and to take a break from your day as you share in some sugary goodness. However, it is still appropriate and polite to ask, "Oh, may I have a piece of your candy?"

Taking candy from decorative dishes when the owner is not at his or her desk is really uncool.

Candy hidden in drawers, purses, or pockets is strictly off-limits.

J

Editor's note: An Altoid box is not a candy dish, so keep out unless offered!