Drinks, Dribbling

If you are going to spill dribbles of tea or coffee onto the floor as you leave the library's break room, please be kind enough to leave a trail that leads all the way back to your office.  This courtesy will allow the custodians to easily track you down and beat you mercilessly with their mops.

Law, Being above the

As a librarian, you have the authority to flagrantly disobey your library's food and drink policy. Have pizzas delivered to the circulation desk, answer reference questions while gnawing on a fried chicken leg, and shelve books while eating cotton candy. No librarian should ever have to go hungry while vigilantly enforcing the library's prohibitions on bottled water.

National Library Week, Celebrating

It's National Library Week. Celebrate by taking a snort from the flask you keep in your fanny pack.

Containers, Approving

Place arbitrary restrictions on the types of drinking containers your library patrons can use.

Patrons need rules, restrictive signage, and librarian "cup cops" to keep them from making a mockery of our profession.


Ask the Readers: Cup cops? Beverage bobbies? Who enforces your library's "approved container" rules?