Current, Keeping it

Librarians should expedite the processing of books with short lifespans.  New textbooks, computer software manuals, and anything about social media should be cataloged upon arrival and immediately weeded to make room for something more current.

Student workers, Delegating tasks to

Sometimes the time and effort spent delegating a task to one of your library's student workers can take longer and involve more work than just doing the task yourself. Before delegating any task to a student worker, it is often beneficial to ask, "Are you retarded?"

Efficiency, Being Blindsided by

Occasionally a routinely slow library process or operation will work efficiently and smoothly. When this happens, promptly tidy your hair and begin to look around for the hidden camera. You're likely being gagged for one of those practical joke television shows.