Internet, Mastering the

Librarians should use their mastery of search algorithms, indexing, and keywords to constantly scour the Internet in search of places to share cat pictures.

Staplers, Honoring fallen

Librarians should observe a moment of silent reflection every time a stapler is broken at the reference desk.

Conferences, Virtually attending

If you are unable to attend the ALA Midwinter Meeting, but still want to experience it virtually, just dim the lights in your office, crank down the temperature to 55 F, and spend the day Tweeting non sequitur notes to yourself (e.g., "Lack of consistency in ebook lending policies," or "I wish they would do something about the temperature in these conference rooms.")

Name-Calling, Stopping

In honor of No Name-Calling Week, librarians should refrain from calling their coworkers names. This positive action will help reduce the negative atmosphere perpetuated by all of the bullies, liars, jerks, perverts, weirdos, geeks, and name-callers who work at your library.

Ask the readers: What names will you stop calling your library coworkers for No Name-Calling Week?

Sweater vests, Politicizing

The American Library Association's Office for Intellectual Freedom is organizing Sweater Vest Sunday at the Midwinter meeting to raise awareness about challenges to intellectual freedom. Conference attendees are encouraged to wear sweater vests to champion citizens' freedom to read. If you do not have a sweater vest, it is perfectly acceptable to fashion one by ripping neck and arm holes into a conference tote bag.