Harassment, Avoiding

It is never appropriate to call a fellow librarian a "pussy." Even if he does wear bow ties to work.

Clothing, Matching your coworkers'

If you and another library colleague arrive at work wearing remarkably similar outfits, you both automatically qualify for a one-time $500 wardrobe bonus and a paid "shopping day."

Editor's note: To claim this offer, just print this page and give it to your immediate library supervisor.

Leave, Returning from

Nothing says "Welcome back from your extended leave of absence!" like finding your desk covered with months of unopened library mail, an inbox filled with 8,013 unread emails, and Gary the intern drinking from your Crazy Cat Lady mug.