No, Just say (REVISITED)

A polite librarian should not allow patrons to puncture one another’s feet. Please update your library’s signs to reflect this change in policy.

Privacy, Choosing

Celebrate Choose Privacy Week by giving your library's resident pervert a little extra space to do his thing in the back corner of the public computer lab.

Perverted, Being

Librarians who attend the Public Library Association's National Conference should be on the lookout for the most perverse group of librarians that ever existed... those that present at library conferences with no consideration of tenure and promotion. /shudder/