Loner, Being a

If you see librarianship described as a “job for loners,” it is your professional responsibility to quietly tweet your disagreement from your dimly lit acquisitions cubicle in the basement of the library.

Education, Defending your

Librarians should not be vindicitive and cancel subscriptions to magazines that demean the value of their library educations. Instead, a librarian should write a letter to the magazine's editor describing all the non-monetary benefits of the profession. For maximum effect, write your letter with a borrowed pencil on the back of your worthless master's diploma.

Reading, Professional

Many library organizational memberships come with complimentary subscriptions to professional library magazines or journals. Pile these publications in a prominent place in your office to give the appearance of being a well-read, up-to-date librarian. By the time you retire, you will have enough issues to build a fortified wall around your desk to protect you from the kind of librarians who actually read those things.

Cheezburger, U cannot haz

You are a librarian. An information professional. You are too old to be into lolcats. Seriously. Stop it.