Gates, Securing the

Many libraries are equipped with alarmed gates that set off sirens when a patron leaves the building with uncharged items.  It is then up to the librarian to stop the offending patron and administer a humiliating full-body search for the nearly-stolen item.  Some polite strategies for stopping patrons are listed below:

• Repeatedly say, "Sir?  Sir?!  SIR?!" in escalating volumes.
• Throw a foam boomerang at the patron's feet.
• Use a homemade paperclip lasso to rope and hogtie the patron.
• Equip the alarm to trigger a trap door that will dump the patron into an alligator-filled pit.
• Shrug in defeat and let them walk away.

Ask the readers: How do you stop patrons who set off your library's security gate?