Exclaiming, Job Search

Unless you have ever worked for Yahoo!, there is absolutely no excuse for using exclamation marks in your library job application letter or resume.

Battles, Email

If you are going to subject your library coworkers to a fiery toned public email battle with another colleague, at least try to make it interesting. Nobody wants to read fifty back-and-forth argumentative emails about your use of the MARC record's 856 field. Consider your audience... use more expletives, insult the other person's cats, and ramp up the obvious sexual tension. Your readers deserve better.

Reading, Popular

Labeling a shelf the "popular" reading shelf, does not necessarily make it popular. If you want your library's bookshelves to be popular, stock them with smutty magazines, the illustrated Kama Sutra, Lost Girls, The Anarchist's Cookbook, and free candy. Oh, and anything involving vampires.

ALA, Going to

Don't feel guilty about spending your library's money to travel to ALA. It is the one time of year when your colleagues and staff actually get to enjoy the peace and tranquility of the library without you in it. Everyone will agree that that is money well spent.

Embarrassment, Avoiding

Never let your mother find out that your library has an Instant Messenger service at the reference desk.

Jobs, Helping people find

Libraries can make themselves relevant during tough economic times by hosting resume writing workshops and job fairs. Your recently laid-off library staff and unemployed new library school graduates will thank you for helping them get jobs at McDonald's.

Up, Warming it

A good reference librarian should be courteous to his or her colleagues by warming the seat of the chair at the reference desk during a shift. Your fellow librarians will thank you for the posterior warmth your inactivity provides.

Be careful not to take this advice too far... no one wants to sit in a sweat-soaked seat. If your ass sweats when you answer reference questions, bring a towel.